Randomly Happy Story, Part One

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Introductions and Junk
Okay, so there was this teenaged girl. I don’t know why she’s a teenaged girl, because she acts, like, eleven, but teens are big in stories for younger kids right now. I don’t really understand why. I mean, really, how much can an elementary school kid relate to dating pressures, stress about college, and all that other junk? If you ask me, kids should be avoiding that dramaish stuff as much as possible. It’s sooo much easier when all you have to worry about is how to talk Grandma into buying you that Barbie you want. Oh, and you have to deal with homework, but that stinks, so this story is just going to pretend that doesn’t exist. You’re welcome.
Anyway, let’s say she’s sixteen, because then she can drive herself places. And she has pink hair, because I like pink. But, she didn’t dye it. And she would have totally gotten permission from her parents to do that if she did color her hair. Only, come to think of it, I don’t know where her parents are in this story. I mean, she has them. She lives in a niceish house, and she wears trendy clothing that I’ve never been able to afford. And she’s really, really nice, so we know that her parents taught her to be kind to people. But, her parents aren’t really in this story. Maybe they work all the time or something.
The girl’s name is Candy. Not Candace, though. Her birth certificate actually reads, “Candy Cain.” And she has pink bunny ears. There is totally no reason for that. I’m giving her animal ears just because I can. Oh, and she has superpowers. If she sneezes on something, a flower grows there. And she’s, like, allergic to pollen or something. So, once she starts sneezing, it’s very hard for her to stop.
She goes to Highland High, which is a totally normal school. Except, the teachers all really love their jobs and aren’t tired all the time. And some of them may have powers – I haven’t decided yet. Oh, and there are real dolphins in the gym’s pool. I would say that the cafeteria is awesome, and serves food that doesn’t look like barf, but no one’s going to believe that. There’s no such thing as a good school cafeteria. But the vending machines rock.
Anyway, Candy has three main friends at school. She’s, like, really popular, but for some reason she only really talks to three kids. Don’t question it – it’s classic. In pretty much every high school cartoon ever, the main girl has only a few friends you really see, and they all pretend like other students don’t really exist. It seems kind of rude, now that I think about it. I think I’ll worry about that later.
Anyway, her BFF is a girl named Nellie. Nellie is really, really athletic. She is on literally every sports team in the school. But, she’s always hanging out with her friends. You wouldn’t think there would be enough hours in a day to do all that, but she does. Maybe it’s just one of those things only cartoon characters can do.
Candy’s other BFF is Joanne, but she really likes it better when you call her Jo. I think it has something to do with the fact that people keep on asking her if she’s related to the lady who owns the fabric store. Anyway, Jo is the nerd friend. She is really good with computers, math, and other stuff. And she straight up builds robots in her free time. Oh, and don’t tell anyone, but Jo also likes to sew. She tries to keep that a secret, because it would be totally embarrassing if people started to tease her about being a girl named Joanne spending time shopping for fabric.
Candy’s other friend is a guy. He’s not officially her boyfriend, but he totally is. I don’t actually know why she needs a boyfriend. I mean, really. According to all the sitcoms I’ve ever watched, dating in high school is nothing but drama. And, really, are high schoolers legit trying to get themselves married or something? I mean, adulting is seriously scary.  I’m, already twenty-something, and I sure have no clue how to do the grown-up thing.
The not-a-boyfriend-but-totally-a-boyfriend dude’s name is Cornelius, but most people call him Corn. They could call him Neil, or Cory, or Leeus. But, for some reason everyone calls him Corn. So, his and Candy’s ship name is CornCandy. No, really, that’s what every person in their high school calls him and Candy when they’re together. I don’t know why. Made-up people can be really stupid.
Oh, and I guess that there’s a bully. Because there’s always a bully. Her name is Meaneria. But, whatever you do, don’t call her Meanie. I know it’s really tempting, but if you call her Meanie, she’ll hold her breath until she turns purple. And that makes you feel all guilty and stuff. It’s really safer just to call her Ria.

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