The Bridge to Her Heart Chapter 1
In the first chapter, I introduce Annie, the main character and her story goal. What do you think? If you have any comments, please leave them below. Thanks!
Annie Dingle stood in the dimly-lit hall
wearing a white bathrobe over her bathing suit and a towel wrapped around her
head. After swimming laps in the hotel pool, she couldn’t wait to shower off
the chlorine. Her eyes stung, her head ached, and to top it off, her new shoes
were too tight.
She swiped the key card, but the door didn’t
open. She swiped it again. Nothing.
If she had to go down to the lobby to ask
for a new card, her thousands of followers on Youtube would soon learn she’d
been locked out of her room in the prestigious Alfonso Rey Hotel.
“Do you need help?”
Annie looked up to see Marta, the uniformed
housekeeper who had serviced her room earlier. The gray-haired woman spoke
English well enough to help Annie figure out the plug adapter to charge her
phone. She’d even provided extra towels.
Annie smiled, relieved to see a friendly
face. “My key card doesn’t work.”
Marta took a master card from her pocket and
swiped the lock. “So sorry. I will let the desk know you’re having a problem.
They will fix it.”
“Gracias.” It was one of the few Spanish
words Annie knew.
Marta still stood in the doorway. “Pretty
shoes. Zaffas, heh?”
Annie glanced down at her fur-lined, neon
pink slip-ons. Shiny silver “Z’s” marked the heels. She’d worn them less than
half a day, but they pinched her toes.
She pried off the shoes and held them out to
Marta. “They don’t fit. Would you like them?”
Smiling, the housekeeper thanked Annie and
tucked them under her arm. “For my daughter. She loves Zaffa.”
Annie went to the window and pulled open the
drapes. Her room was furnished with elegant antiques. Paintings hung in gilded
frames on the brocade wallpapered walls. She felt like a princess sleeping on
the four-poster bed. Quite a change from the bunk in the RV she’d been living
in for the past two years.
The bed had been
made while she was out and wrapped candies had been left on the pillow. She
dropped them in the top bureau drawer. Chocolate was taboo on her paleo diet.
After disconnecting her phone from the
single-pronged charger, she thumbed a tweet: Swam 100 laps in the hotel pool.
Way too much chlorine. Nasty headache. Jet lag sucks.
#Madrid#ToledoBridge#GetUpGetOutGetMoving#SwimtheStrait.
The weather app
displayed conditions in Tarifa, the town at the southern tip of Spain where she
would start her swim across the Strait of Gibraltar. It was windy there today,
as usual. Tarifa was the windsurfing capital of the world. Strong winds were
ideal for kite-sailors and wind-surfers, but not swimmers. She doubted any of
the men and women scheduled to swim the strait today would be given permission.
Her swim was scheduled for the last week in October. Fingers crossed, she’d be
able to do it.
She swallowed two ibuprofen pills and headed
for the shower. There was a sunken tub in the bathroom as well as a separate
glass-enclosed shower, a toilet, a bidet, and a complimentary assortment of
fragrant lotions, soaps and shampoos—but no weight scale.
She showered in her swim suit, an old habit,
and was standing at the sink in a sports bra and yoga pants, wringing out her
suit, when the Downton Abbey theme played on her phone—her sister’s ringtone.
Annie hurried back to the bedroom to answer
it. “Where are you?”
“Sorry,” Kate said. “I’m still in Morocco.”
“Oh, great. My first bridge in Spain, and
you’re not here.”
“I wish I could, but we’re stuck. The part
for the engine didn’t arrive.”
Annie tightened her jaw. It seemed as though
everything was going wrong. “I’ve had a few hang-ups, too. I got locked out of
my room.”
Her sister chuckled. “You would.”
“There was enough chlorine in the pool to
kill a whale, and there’s no scale in the bathroom. I couldn’t tweet my weight
this morning.”
“Just guess at it, sweetie. You’ve become
obsessed with your weight.”
“I’m so close to my goal.” A hundred pounds
before her thirtieth birthday was definitely something to obsess over.
A male voice sounded in the background, and
Annie’s brow lifted. “Who’s that?”
“Giovanni. He wants to take me shopping in
Tangier today.” Kate giggled. “His yacht is amazing.”
Annie frowned. Her sister was too giggly.
“Have you been drinking?”
“No.” Kate’s protest was too loud. “Well, I
had wine with lunch. Don’t worry. He’s taking good care of me.”
Exactly why Annie did worry. “I thought we
were doing this together.”
“A bridge is a bridge. What’s the difference
between Madrid and Manhattan?”
“I don’t speak Spanish, for one.”
“That’s no excuse. There are plenty of
people who speak English. The Zaffas will be there. Sophia wants to walk with
you, and Marco has arranged news coverage. You’ll be on TV tonight.”
Annie glanced at her reflection in the
mirror. Her bloodshot eyes. Her frizzy pink hair. “Oh, joy.”
“You need Zaffa’s support. We can get around
the world with his shoes.”
“I just want to swim the strait.”
“In a Zaffa swimsuit, remember. Hold on.
Giovanni’s so impatient.”
Annie set the phone on speaker and brushed the
knots out of her hair. In the two years she’d been rallying women to walk
across bridges to raise awareness for women’s health, she’d remained
independent. Now she was sponsored by Marco Zaffa, the former Italian soccer
star who owned an athletic clothing company. His shoes and sportswear were
popular in Europe, and he wanted to expand to the American market.
“Without Zaffa, you’d still be swimming the
Hudson.” Kate’s voice sounded from the phone propped against the mirror. “What
do you think of his spring collection?”
Annie switched the setting on the phone and
placed it on her ear. “Most of it didn’t fit.”
“You’re kidding.”
“The tennis outfit will work. And the yoga
pants. But everything else is size four, not fourteen.”
“European sizes are different.”
“Not even the shoes fit. I gave them away.”
Kate swore. “They’re trimmed with real
coyote fur.”
Annie smirked, doubly glad she’d given them
away. “I’ll wear my Toms.”
“That’s blasphemy. Call Bianca de Luca.
She’ll bring you a new pair.”
Calling Marco Zaffa’s assistant was the last
thing Annie wanted to do. “She took me to see the bridge last night, after she
picked me up at the airport.”
“Bianca’s a sweetheart, isn’t she?” There
was sarcasm in Kate’s voice.
Annie nodded. “She doesn’t like
Americans.”
“Yeah, I got that vibe, too. The Zaffas are
nice though. They’re looking forward to meeting you. And you’ll never guess who
else will be at the bridge. Your old friend Jack Rodriguez.”
Annie plopped down on the bed. “He’s
not my friend.”
“Can you believe it? He makes shoe
commercials for Zaffa now.”
Stunned, Annie chuckled. “Karma caught up
with him.”
“From New York newsman to selling shoes.
He’s fallen a long way. Be sure to say something snarky when you see him
tonight.”
“He won’t remember me.”
“Sure he will, sweetie.” Kate giggled again.
“You’re the woman who got him fired.”
Annie winced. “That was the monkey.”
They both laughed.
“Have you filmed your vlog?” Kate asked.
“It’s not on YouTube.”
“My costume hasn’t arrived yet.”
“What is it?”
“A gypsy dress from the opera house. I’ll be
Carmen.”
“Ah, sexy.”
. Annie was worried about that. “Carmen was a free spirit.” Like I used to be.
“Be sure to mention the monkey when you see
Rodriguez,” Kate said and ended the call.
Annie lay on the bed, staring up at the
crystal light fixture. Of all people—Jack Rodriguez. Two years ago, he was a TV
personality, especially popular with female viewers. Even her mother thought he
was handsome—a younger Antonio Banderas. He turned out to be an egotistical
jerk who ridiculed plus-sized women and hated monkeys. Or was it the monkey who
hated him?
Annie smiled. Karma could be cruel, but in
this case, it called for a celebration. She rescued the candy from the top
drawer, savored each piece, and then thumbed a tweet: “Succumbed to Swiss
chocolate. #Madrid #ToledoBridge #MeetMarcoZaffa #GetUpGetOutGetMoving.
Still on twitter, she read the thread of
responses to her earlier post. Her followers had tweeted helpful suggestions to
cope with jetlag. Many of the women were personal friends. Ellie, Hannah, and
Isabella in New York City. Bree in Louisiana. Lara in California.
Annie had met amazing women all of the U.S.
who had walked bridges with her. Would Spanish women support her campaign? Or
would they laugh at a silly American in a gypsy costume?
Scrolling through
the comments, she found one from @sharkfin. “Good morning, gorgeous. You slept
late. Did you leave your pink cap in NY?”
Holy crap!
Donovan Nash had
just watched her swim. He was here. In Madrid. In the hotel.
She hurried to
the door and fastened the chain, then peered through the peephole. The hall
appeared empty, but he could be out there. He could be in the room next door.
Waiting. Watching.
The man was a
nuisance. Actually, more than a nuisance. He frightened her.
She’d met Donovan at her cousin’s wedding last month. He was the
groom’s brother, a lonely, overweight man with a double chin and a boyish face.
They’d danced and she’d laughed at his jokes. That was all. But he’d sent
flowers, then jewelry, and professed his love in handwritten letters. Because
she vlogged daily, he knew where to find her. Almost every time she glanced
over her shoulder, he was there, lurking in the background. Now he’d followed
her to Spain.
There was a knock
on the door.
She felt a chill,
as if a spider had crawled up her arm. “Who is it?”
A man’s voice answered in a Spanish accent.
“Package for Annabelle Dingle.”
Breathing again, she opened the door.
A uniformed delivery man stood in the hall
holding out a clothing box and clipboard. “Sign, please.”
She thanked him, scribbling her name, and
glanced up and down the hall. No Donovan.
She locked the
door and brought the box to the bed. After struggling with the tape, she pried
open the lid, and lifted out the dress. Layers of red ruffles formed the skirt,
billowing out below a black corset-like midriff and a white, peasant bodice. To
complete the costume, a black tasseled shawl lay folded in the bottom of the
box.
She stepped into
the dress, pulling it over her shoulders, and twirled in front of the mirror.
The skirt length came just below her knees. The actress who’d worn it must not
have been tall. But someone in the wardrobe department at the Madrid Opera
House smoked cigarettes. The dress stank.
Reaching behind
her back, she couldn’t close the zipper all the way. “Fudge and more
fudge.”
The dress was too
small for a full-busted woman.
She draped the
shawl over her shoulders and tied it in a knot. It hid the open zipper.
Kate was right. The costume was sexy.
Annie smiled. She
was sure Jack Rodriguez wouldn’t recognize her.
Very intriguing Gussie! The first chapter definitely made me want to read more. I'd like more description about Annie. When she glances in the mirror while she's on the phone, you mention she has pink hair, and her eyes are bloodshot, but what color are they? If she's trying to lose weight (I assume she is from some of the things you wrote), and if she's obsessive about it (another assumption) I would think she would spend some more time examining her body in the mirror, either before or after she gets out of the shower, or when she tries on the costume. I think it could help readers become more invested in her goals if they can relate to the thoughts she has about her body, and also to get a better picture of who she is. One more thing, after she reads that tweet from Donovan, I think you could include more visceral reactions that she has immediately. She thinks, "Holy crap!" but if it were me, I'd immediately feel sick to my stomach. I'd feel dread. My hands would go clammy or I'd start sweating, or my hands would shake, or I'd feel a knot form in my stomach. Something besides just thinking Holy crap! I know that once she hears the knock at the door, your elevate that a little bit, but I would definitely be much more afraid even before there was a knock at the door. You might elaborate on these things in the next chapters, just some of the thoughts I had as I read! It's great, though!
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for your helpful suggestions! I definitely want to add them to the scene.
Delete